You may be aware of a UK police services idea of providing disposable flip flops for drunken females following a night out. This is to stop them hurting their feet.
Apparently females wear shoes that hurt and following ten pints of Stella they want to walk home barefoot, which I suppose is better than them wanting to beat the life out of each other which usually prevails following a beverage or two.
I have no doubt that the inspector that concocted this marvellous use of tax payers money is destined for policing greatness and I am sure you share my congratulations at this step in the right direction for community progress. So I have been thinking....these are my top three ideas to propel me into the ACPO ranks like a rocket.
1. Replace all Batons/ASP's with pink balloons on a stick - Nobody gets hurt when hit with them and because its pink all genders and diverse lifestyles are catered for.
2. Reversible POLICE/TAXI signs on all panda's - I get asked probably twenty times a night if I can just "drop me off at home" or "Are you going near my house" following a good night out by some lashed up member of the public. So, lets switch the signs and earn some money for Mr Brown to assist with the recession and provide a valuable service for the community. Its not like I got anything better to do at 2am on a Friday night.
3. Crash helmet-Sleeping bag combination suit -Issued to all late night drinking holes, an all in one crash helmet and sleeping bag suit which you pull on over your head when leaving the club and no matter what you stumble into or fall on despite only having "two pints" you can rest assured that you will not hurt your head and if you decided "I don't fancy going back home, I will sleep in the gutter or on this comfy wooden bench" then the sleeping bag keeps you toasty until the sun rises.
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